Its NOT ME living in a van down by the river

It’s time for another installment of “Not Me” Monday at MckMama’s.  I don’t do these too often, but I had a few things to “Not” get off my chest.  As if I did these sort of things.  Which I don’t…

I DID NOT spend the last 3+ weeks living at various houses with the kids.  Every time enjoying the gracious hosts but much more wishing I was at home instead.

I DID NOT feed my kids take-out all weekend because, well, we’re not home.

I DID NOT post to my Facebook account that we’re “living in a van down by the river” (to which some people laughed, others offered rooms!)

I DID NOT forget to mail out several Etsy orders from my Etsy shop.  I would NEVER wait so long to get my stuff in order, homeless or not!!

I DID NOT spend a night alone in a hotel with my husband….. while the kids were staying at someone else’s house!!

I DID NOT conceive baby #5 in said hotel room.  Really.  Did not.  I’m still holding to 4 is plenty.

I DID NOT order pizza at 10 am with my husband the next morning.

I DID NOT scream at the TV during the Vikings NFC game last night.  I don’t do that sort of “boy” stuff.

I DID NOT drive all the way back to our little town in questionable weather just to drop the kids off for school only to find out the next morning school had been cancelled due to weather.

I DID NOT hear that the schools were closed and promptly log in to see if the movie theaters were ALSO closed.  I’d never go out in such weather just for a movie!!

I DID NOT take some of my Project 365 photos from my camera phone.  I have a great camera, why would I use that crap-quality phone unless I was just being lazy?

I DID NOT forget the cord for my camera so I can’t upload my recent pictures anyway.

I AM NOT going completely insane and wishing I was back in my own home with ALL my kids.

Certainly Not Me

It’s been so long since I’ve participated in an MckMama’s “Not Me” Monday, I thought I’d give it a go today. 

Needing some peace and quiet while I tried to clean up the house I did not barricade the 1 year old in his room (full of toys, mind you) so I could work without a clinging baby underfoot.  I also did not leave him in there until he fell asleep on the floor with his favorite blankey.  I don’t ignore my children, ever.

I did not hide dirty pans in the stove when my in-laws came over to have their pictures taken for Christmas. 

I did not pre-heat said oven full of dirty pans before realizing they were still in there.

I did not run the egg cooker on the toaster dry and stink up the house.  I did not blame the stink on the wet dog.

I did not skip fixing my hair for a photo shoot because I knew I’d be outside in a winter hat.

I did not miss church for the third time because my husband is driving the only vehicle that accommodates four children in actual seats.

I did not let the kids watch Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull for movie night.  It would be way too scary for them!

I did not take a bazillion pictures rather than clean up the baby when he practiced using utensils.

I did not get someone to work for me just so I can go with a friend to Minneapolis and have dinner with MckMama!!!

Not Me Monday - Teeth

Not Me! Monday is your chance to NOT admit all those things you DIDN'T do and live to tell about it. You can see more NOT ME! Monday at My Charming Kids.

Daddy and I DID NOT coerse our oldest child into pulling a tooth that had been asking for it all weekend.

This tooth was NOT driving me crazy and sticking out of her face for weeks. I DID NOT feel sort of embarassed for her.

Daddy DID NOT tie dental floss to it.

We DID NOT ignore lots of tears.

And certainly we DID NOT ignore the protests.

And when it wouldn't come out, we DID NOT make her walk around Sam's Club with dental floss hanging out of her mouth because the only way it was coming out was with that tooth! (and she DID NOT eat the samples while sporting said dental floss)

After a brave fight and one good tug......

The stubborn tooth DID NOT finally come out!

Oh, and the tooth fairy DID NOT forget to come after all that. Hope she makes up for it a day late.

Not Me Monday - Stellan Style

This week we are honoring Stellan by praying and asking everyone we can to help us in this quest. "Not me!" Monday is hosted by MckMama at My Charming Kids. I DID NOT pray all week that Stellan will get better. I DID NOT use my Fragments Friday post to ask for prayers for lots of friends and family. I DID NOT post seeking prayers for Stellan several times during the week on Facebook. I DID NOT join the FB group Pray for Stellan. I DID NOT Tweet about prayers for Stellan. I DID NOT check Twitter all week waiting to see what was going on at the hospital. I DID NOT ask a local "blog" group that has probably never been to a "real" blog site to visit My Charming Kids, meet Stellan, and pray for him. I DID NOT write Stellan's name in the snow in front of our flooded park for Stellan's Name Gallery. I DID NOT ignore a ton of housework in the process. I'd better start cleaning.

Not Me Monday - Mullets and Movies

It's once again time to confess, be honest, and live to tell. See more of what others are NOT doing at My Charming Kids.
Well, it's been a slow week. At least until the weekend.

• Wednesday I DID NOT cut MD's hair, but take a picture of him sporting a mullet first. Hee hee.

• Thursday I DID NOT forget to practice lines with AM and then "help" her with every one she had during practice at Destination Imagination.

• Friday we DID NOT take AM out of school early just so mom and dad could have a date and see a movie.

• I also DID NOT actually kinda like the total guy movie that almost should have had a stronger rating than the "R" it was given.

• We DID NOT go to pick up the kids from Grandma and Grandpa's only to be told to go ahead and go get dinner together as well. We DID NOT practically run back out the door. I was NOT almost giddy at the idea of dining with only my husband in a restaurant that doesn't even serve cheeseburgers.

• I DID NOT get "fired" from my un-paid, volunteer job at church for absolutely no reason. Grr - more about that later.

• I DID NOT leave town with seven dollar bills in my coat pocket and no credit card for gas because I bought stuff on e-bay and left it at the computer. I DID NOT put seven dollars exactly in my empty gas tank to get me home.

• I DID NOT scrape quarters together to get each kid a McDollarItem to tide them over until we got home for lunch.

• Lastly, I DID NOT let JC eat daddy's patch from his uniform.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Please don't forget to register for my Carseat Cover giveaway until 3/28!!! Great for you OR a gift for a friend!

Not Me Monday - Work & Weddings

Monday morning confessional with a twist....NOT confessing. See what others DID NOT do at MckMama's place!

• I DID NOT work my butt off between a wedding and my regular work weekend!
• I DID NOT start making gestures at mostly everyone at the wedding I did this weekend even after realizing that very few guests actually spoke no English at all.
• I DID NOT hide in a utility room at the hospital while I talked to my mom for a moment on my cell phone while on the clock.
• I DID NOT sit on the couch holding a sweet smelling sleeping baby and for a second consider how nice a fifth child would be. I certainly would have come to my senses at "crabby time" every evening from 6-9pm.
• I DID NOT wait until the last minute to collect Math-a-thon pledges for AM's class this week!!
• I absolutely WOULD NOT and DID NOT feed my children expired milk for a week. And if I did I would have tasted it every single time first. But I DIDN'T feed them non-spoiled milk with a date that just happened to be a few days ago....
• I DID NOT post this from work and therefore have no photos to go along with it...
• Lastly I DID NOT give the baby a paper receipt to keep him momentarily occupied and then have to dig the mush out of his mouth as he gagged on it. What kind of parent would do that??? NOT ME!!

Not Me Monday - Family Time

It's time to confess (or NOT) all the stuff you may or MAY NOT have done this week. Go 'head. Get it off your chest. Then go see what others have NOT done at My Charming Kids!

I DID NOT feed my children some form of pizza for at least 3 meals out of 6 this weekend. I ALWAYS cook healthy and nutritious meals for my growing kids! It was certainly NOT ME!

I DID NOT upgrade JC's diapers yet another size just so I don't have to change him overnight anymore. I'm up anyway, feeding him, right? Why would I be so lazy as to not want to change my sweet little boy and keep him from weighing twice his weight in the morning?? NOT ME!

I DID NOT allow our kids to stay up as late as they wanted Friday and watch as much Power Puff Girls as they could stand. I make sure my kids get lots of healthy sleep every night of the week. I know this was NOT ME!

YOU DID NOT SEE THIS...

I DID NOT insert missing people into my family's most recent photo when they all couldn't get together. Pictures are to document the occasion, not create false memories, right?! Besides, do I even know how to use photoshop? NOT ME!

THIS NEVER HAPPENED...

BUT THIS DID (?)...

Not Me Monday - The Mall

It's time to NOT confess what you've done this week. See what others have NOT done at My Charming Kids.

I DID NOT pay my oldest to change my youngest.

I DID NOT let PM use up all of her Princess sticker earrings in one shot by sticking them all on her face.

I surely DID NOT let the kids eat only deserts for dinner Saturday at the Karaoke party. And speaking of karaoke, I DID NOT play karaoke suicide and sing a song I don't even know in front of everyone!

I DID NOT take the kids after church to the mall for lunch and let them play in the germ infested Dinosaur playland for exactly 10 minutes. You can't catch a cold in 10 minutes, right?

I DID NOT feel exactly like JC watching the throngs of children coughing and climbing and touching stuff....

Not Me Monday - Sick Babies, still

Fess up! It's "Not Me!" Monday! See what others did NOT do at My Charming Kids.

I once again am NOT writing from work. I don't do that. EVER. Not me!

I DID NOT give my sick baby to lovely and motherly babysitters from church while I worked at the hospital with everyone else's sick babies. I'm a stay at home mom...and I DID NOT just admit that!

I DID NOT feel bad that I am not the one comforting my son while he is sick. I WOULD NOT be making him drink from a bottle all weekend when all he wants is more mommy time.

I also DID NOT have to take Jc in to see the Dr. to find out he has one ear infection and the beginning of pneumonia after assuring my husband he's fine. Definitely Not me!

I DID NOT let the Dr. give Jc an injection of antibiotics rather than the oral stuff so it can work faster and keep us OUT of the hospital. Poor baby, I'm too nice, it was NOT ME!

I DID NOT feel a teeny bit jealous that Hubby took the big 3 kids to dinner and a movie while I slept after the previous work night. Just because WE never get dinner and a movie anymore doesn't mean I shouldn't be happy they get to do it! NOT ME!

I DID NOT give in and buy MD his own box of Golden Oreos, then help him eat them all in one afternoon. SO not me!!

I once again DID NOT ignore my housework just to catch up on blogs. Not me! Um, and it was really NOT ME who moved stuff and stacked boxes differently downstairs just so PM's occupational therapist wouldn't think I hadn't done ANYTHING in that front room since last week when she came. NOT MEEEE!

Not Me Monday - hair color

It's that time again, I mean "NOT ME!" Monday. There's even more of what others did not do at My Charming Kids...
So here's the scoop:

I DID NOT buy an extra yard of fleece I found just because I loved the pattern. I would only buy enough to make a friend her new baby carseat cover. What in the world would I even do with yet another piece of fleece around here?? NOT ME!!

I DID NOT forget to change PM before bed one time this week and find her in a stinky wet bed in the morning, thereby requiring an immediate bath before breakfast. I'm always on top of the diapering around here, so it was certainly NOT ME!!

◄ These bandits DO NOT exist!

I DID NOT dye my own hair dark brown and bright red. Adults go to salons, especially if said adult is that same afternoon shooting a nice wedding. What if that red goes horribly wrong and one would have to show up and try to be all "professional"?? NOT ME!!

I AM NOT totally diggin' my new sling! These ARE NOT red highlights!

AND while I was NOT dying my hair bright red, I DID NOT end up with a bunch extra...

AND I

DID NOT

ALLOW

MY 7-YEAR-OLD

TO CONVINCE ME

THAT SHE

NEEDED

SOMETHING

MORE "ROCK-STAR"

Oh, this was SO NOT ME!!!

Not Me Monday - Reporting from..

First and foremost, I am NOT blogging from work. I would NOT waste my employer's time doing such a thing.

I also DO NOT have mustard on my scrubs from eating a sandwich.

I DID NOT attend a work party on Saturday night so there will NOT be several slightly embarassing photos floating around Facebook this weekend.

I DID NOT skip blogging most of last week to be sick, maybe your computer is broken, those posts are there...somewhere...right?

I DID NOT lose a verse of lyrics to a song at church. With such a fast (not) and modern (not) computer as the one in our tech center, there is no way I would have let the poor musician leading a song start full tilt on a verse to find himself singing solo while the rest of the congregation stared at him. How embarassing, NOT ME!

I also DID NOT let my son watch several hours of Power Puff Girls thus setting off a weird obsession at our house. I DID NOT receive several Power Puff Girl drawings from him while he sat quietly (HA!) beside me at church...where I was NOT screwing things up.

See what else everyone did NOT do with "Not ME!" Mondays at My Charming Kids.

Not Me Monday - Another Snow Day

It's Monday AND a snow day...once again. We seem to get hit every other weekend with another storm! Will the snow and cold ever end?? Oh yeah, in April perhaps. ANYWAY, it's "Not Me!" Monday, a chance to NOT admit to all those little things you'd never do, and certainly did NOT do this week. You can see what else was NOT going on at My Charming Kids.

I DID NOT crash the hotel room DH stayed in Saturday night. Especially not since he worked all night and wouldn't be in until 2am. Not me!

I DID NOT bring an expensive camera down to the pool (in the hotel we did not go to) just to take pictures of the kids. Not me!

These pictures DO NOT exist...

I DID NOT give AM an ice bucket to hold when she felt like puking. That would be gross and unsanitary...not me! (I wonder how often those get cleaned.)

and to top it all off...

I DID NOT meet a client and talk with her for an hour, say good bye, then look down to see the 50+ stickers PM stuck to the front of my shirt earlier that morning. That would be totally embarrassing...not me!!

Not Me Monday - Baby Goodness

It's been a long weekend, and I'm sure there are things you are guilty of doing that you feel the need to come clean about. Well here at NOT ME MONDAY you can NOT own up to all of it, I mean who would?? See what others would NEVER do at my charming kids.

I DID NOT have a good Sunday. I never do. They always end up like the last one. I look like the end of every cheesy "Cathy" comic strip. Me, my hair frazzled and standing up, exclaiming "Ack" while the kids circle in a storm cloud at my feet. Why have a decent one now? Not me!

I DID NOT leave a sippy I found full of chunky milk on the counter to clean in the morning. Who does that? I ALWAYS do ALL the dishes before I go to bed. Leave something that gross for morning?? Not me!

I DID NOT pop in a VHS tape just to record a news program featuring an 8-year-old breastfeeding and a piece on orgasmic birthing. I mean really, who wants to watch that spectacle?? It's like watching a car accident, you just can't look away. And since the kids are up I can't give it my full attention, I mean if I were actually going to watch it. I would have to record it. But I didn't. Not me!

I DID NOT take a million pictures I'll probably never print, just because. I always print ALL the photos I take, and just a few at that. Who has the room to keep all those? Not me!

Hand over the camera and no one gets hurt.

Finally I DID NOT give up an hour's sleep just to watch JC drool on my shoulder, soaking up all his baby goodness, knowing that he is the last baby in the house. Who has time for that? Sigh....not me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Later that Monday....

It seems breastfeeding keeps coming up around here. Over at Two of a Kind, Working on a Full House there is a giveaway for Hiccup's diaper cases and a review of the nursing cover. They are VERY cute and would be super handy. I hope you will check them out.

When I had #1 I vowed to breastfeed as long as I could, but at least 6 mos, pumpng when I returned to work. It was a struggle at first, I think in part due to a Brachial Plexus Injury she suffered. Because of the pain she was in, she was a poor breastfeeder. But I kept on working with her and she turned out to be a great eater! Not only that, I found that I am a dairy farm and by 6 months probably had another 3 months' worth of milk in the freezer. It was so nice for us that I contunued to nurse her until 15 mos when I had an asthma attack that landed me in the ER and on oral steroids. I would gladly have resumed, but after the round of steroids and no direct breast feeding, she wasn't interested any more. The next 3 kiddos were all great eaters, except JC's recent issues which have all pretty much resolved. They've all been weaned about 15 mos. I would happily feed them until about age 2...then...I don't know.

I can totally see the attraction of nursing longer. The closeness and affection is great, I miss it when it's over. On the other hand, it's nice to have my body back. To be able to drink if I want, to take aspirin (migraines are no match for my Excederin Migraine!). The other night was a news show with a segment I have actually seen before (thanks to hospital training) about a British mom still nursing her 8-year-old daughter. A mom from the states (Alabama?) still nursing her 5-year-old boy. While I can see the attraction, ugh. No thanks. Mom is sitting on one end of the couch and her large 3rd grader is stretched out the length of it with her head under mom's shirt. No thanks.

So here's the questions...Did you breast feed? How long did you, or do you plan to do it? When is a child too old?

Not Me Monday - #1

Not Me, Not Me - I would never....well maybe. See what else others didn't do at my charming kids!


I DID NOT join Twitter this weekend to further chain myself to the internet. I mean, I have friends other than e-friends, right?

I DID NOT get to spend several hours with the in-laws, and get a few B-day gifts!

I DID NOT surf the Best Buy parking lot on Sunday before thinking I could wait to get Pink's new album (I DID NOT just call it an album - old much?). WAAAYY too many last minute shoppers to haul four kids into the store for one purchase. And I DID NOT just contemplate herding four kids into Best Buy in -20 degree weather to buy a Pink album.

I DID NOT accidentally come across what my DH is giving me for Christmas.....

I also DID NOT have to e-mail a friend to ask for her twin sister's last name and husband's name just so I could send her a Christmas card when I should darn well know that info!!

Finally, I DID NOT give up my tree decorating rights just to let the kids have a good time, no matter how much I wanted to spread out the cluster of ornaments 3 feet or lower (the top 3 feet are bare - and I DID NOT leave it that way).

(And I DID NOT let PM decorate JC instead of the tree)